'Beryl' by Kristy Linderholm

(London, UK) Second Edit

Shot in LA on a Red with an arri lighting kit. We're doing another pass for color and light balance. Looking forward to hearing feedback!

Read 'Beryl' HERE

Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 0

'Beryl' by Kristy Linderholm

(London, UK) First Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • Fix grading, it’s all over the place – very milky in places
  • Work on the sound, dialogue tracks could be improved, add atmos tracks and foley.
  • Some slight sync issues too though that could be Vimeo
Comments: 7 (Discussion closed)
  • #1

    Stephen Cooper (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 22:37)

    I think considering the equipment you used the picture should be a lot better than that. Need to really work on the colours (although I see you are already aware of that). Also I remember the script feeling a bit more fun than this one does in places. Would consider adding some kind of soundtrack to lift the film a bit. Other than that I like your choice of shots and the performances are good. Just need to really drastically improve the colour.

  • #2

    Mark P (Thursday, 08 November 2012 10:31)

    Hi Kristy,

    I disagree with Stephen on the music. It was nice to have on that didn't have a stock soundtrack running underneath.

    I think the key thing for me is pepping it up a bit. The gag comes out of the fact that we think the other lady is totally off her trolley but then she turns out to be a sly fox. Whether you can set that up a bit more with a close up of her if you have it. Maybe some more reactions from the guy too. I think cutting harder into the dialogue could make it faster and snappier.

    I agree with the producers about foley. Some seat squelching and smooching sounds would really lift it.

    Finally, on the ending, I'm not sure that I like the long cut of the laughter. I never find it all that funny watching other people laugh at their own jokes so I wonder whether you could come out of it sooner? I really liked the high five - maybe that could work as an exit point?

    Hope this is helpful.

  • #3

    Evan (Thursday, 08 November 2012 19:42)

    Good job with this. I do agree we expect better from the equipment used, and likely some work with contrast, brightness and colors can correct the deficiencies. Personally I felt Beryl's performance was weak though not much can be done at this point. Some tighter editing and foley should help.

  • #4

    Nathan Gower (Sunday, 11 November 2012 18:59)

    I can appreciate the comments above about it being nice to not have music beating us over the head (as many of the films do); but I have to say that a punchy, quirky script like this feels a bit empty without some music (I'm thinking it feels especially empty at the moment of the kiss).

  • #5

    Simon (Thursday, 15 November 2012 13:35)

    Worked for me without music - and I like the interaction of the two ladies. I also agree with Mark P - ending on the high 5 rather than the laughter I think would work really well - as both characters are in on the 'con'.

  • #6

    Mark (Sunday, 18 November 2012 09:26)

    Well done Nice film Just needs some work on colour correction.

  • #7

    Andy Robinson (Monday, 19 November 2012 02:35)

    As others have already mentioned, the picture grading needs looking at, as does the audio - I think there were some audio overlaps/repeats at one point. I really enjoyed this version, and didn't think it needed music. A little tightening will make the the performances really shine - well done!