'Don't' by Dare Dynamic

'Don't' by Dare Dynamic

Shot on a 60D and 600D with only a director, two actors, DOP and Sound recordist we traveled from Middlesex to Bournemouth and shot it all in a day on Cliffs tops.

Read 'Don't' HERE

Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 3
  • #1

    Chris Griffiths (Thursday, 29 November 2012 20:52)

    Nicely done. Felt the tension, and great setting too. Also that chick sure can throw! :)

  • #2

    Teresa Thomson (Friday, 30 November 2012 00:07)

    Excellent film...I thought she was gonna jump though...

  • #3

    susan still (Sunday, 02 December 2012 20:15)

    very good, loved it would love to see more films by sherice x

First Edit

Second Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • Atmos too rumbly, try something with more ‘height’. Watch for audio pops on edits
  • No foley – film feels empty
  • Tighten the edit – feels baggy

 

 

First Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

Comments: 10 (Discussion closed)
  • #1

    Selisha (Tuesday, 13 November 2012 19:28)

    Awesome film, lovely idea to set it on a cliff!

  • #2

    Rhian Poole (Tuesday, 13 November 2012 19:41)

    This was incredible. Really good use of dramatic tension in this piece. Loved it! With just the right amount of cheeeeeeeesey!

    Well Done!

  • #3

    Evan (Tuesday, 13 November 2012 21:59)

    Lovely film. You took a tough script and made it even tougher by picking this location so props for that. It looks beautiful.
    Couple of notes. I didn't feel his cheerful wave at the beginning signaled his desire to kill himself so I don't believe that she would either. May not be possible but consider reshooting his bit so we believe he's suicidal. Second I'm not buying they can easily toss and catch the ball over such a distance. As a result of these two points I started to feel you had adapted the script into a comedy. As in she had misread his standing on the cliff as a suicide attempt, and that confusion would lead to a punch line (I would've been okay with that interpretation but I doubt that's where you were going with it). The absurdity of throwing over this distance contributed to this. Perhaps with music you can redirect back to drama.
    I found the voice overs effective but the last one "real one" can probably be dropped to better effect.
    I enjoyed watching this and admire how you've changed the location.

  • #4

    Sherice (Director) (Wednesday, 14 November 2012 00:02)

    Evan, Thank you for your feedback. Unfortunately a re-shoot isn't possible but I understand the points you've made. I quite like it being more ambiguous why the man is at the cliff. He doesn't necessarily need the desire to jump, Brenda (the woman) is projecting her own situation onto him thinking that perhaps, without reason, he is going to jump. His intentions could have been much more innocent but it's this projection that makes her stop and think. Even if he is not going to jump her intentions of wanting to jump come across to Peter so maybe he is just playing along. But maybe he has his own reasons for being there. It's quite ambiguous I admit.
    But thank you for your kind words and critique.

  • #5

    Mylène (Thursday, 15 November 2012 17:27)

    Really like the idea and the backdrop but I guess it could be tightened a little bit, just few seconds here and there, and work on the audio .

  • #6

    Suvasis (Thursday, 15 November 2012 18:54)

    Really liked the setting & realistic idea that someone may have left a ball there for fear of the edge / use of hairband (more likely than serendipitous elastic band on the spot). As I had to watch in a public library without sound so limited interpretation. Points about floppy wristed throwing and facial happiness on the guy definitely ring true... was it a comedy? By a strange coinsidence the comment entry confirmation box below this comment as I type has the RANDOM CODE as JUMPv...

  • #7

    Tom (Thursday, 15 November 2012 19:24)

    Nice idea, but a few things spoiled it for me, speaking purely from a professional point of view.
    I'm watching it again, and commenting as I go - I hope my notes will help you.

    Your cut timing is a little jumpy - the first POV down at the water was a little premature, and that threw me off slightly.

    Nice camera move slowly including the book, and classic over the shoulder - nice touch.

    The colour is a tad inconsistent (noticing in particular the difference between 00:20 to 00:42).

    When making a film, there is a lot to think about, as you know - but one thing that is really important is consistency; not just in lighting and positioning, but also the more subtle things like the direction the talent is looking. If you follow the man's gaze between 00:47 and 00:52, he takes a long sweeping look down at the sea, but when we return to him, he is looking up at the horizon.

    01:15 really needed a sharp foreground subject. As the woman's gaze returns to the foreground, so should ours.

    I have to agree with Evan on the throwing thing. Way too far for most people to throw, and the throws themselves make the characters seem only a few feet apart. Again with consistency, the first throw is considerably more believable than subsequent throws. The distance hasn't changed, so the effort required to bridge it shouldn't, either.

    The shot starting at 03:34 needs less head room on both characters. This is really important.

    Your lighting at 03:41 is again noticeably hotter than the previous shots - then at 03:47, suddenly gets very cold as he unwraps the note.

    Again, Evan's made a good point with the VO on 'Real one?' - definitely needs to go.
    And the last shot is again very much warmer than the one preceding it, and head room has been forgotten.

    One last thing: Maybe a rock would have been more appropriate - natural objects always look more convincing.

    I hope this helps you, because I know how much effort is required to make even very short films, and nobody is above a few pointers. :)

    All the best

    Tom

  • #8

    Sherice (Friday, 16 November 2012 09:47)

    Thank you for your feedback Tom, very in depth and I appreciate the time you took to give me notes. I will work on your points and try and have a new version up by next week. Unfortunately whilst shooting without a monitor I had to trust me DOP a lot of the time which may not have worked all the time.

  • #9

    Mark (Saturday, 17 November 2012 22:46)

    I liked the film but it was clear the ball could not have been thrown that far without it being supernatural. I'm afraid for me it takes away any credibility from otherwise fine performances. I can see why you would want those beauty shots of the cliffs. If it had been me I would also have done a safety shot of them being a lot closer together in case the long distance didnt work. If you did this would be a good time to use them in my opinion.

    You need to drop the wind noise level if you can as it becomes distracting and monotonous.

  • #10

    Mark (Saturday, 17 November 2012 22:51)

    Just read some of the other comments. Personally I didnt notice anything wrong with any of the eyelines or anything other than the ball and wind. I wont watch it again because I think the first view is all that matters.