'Last Chance' by Dan & Skylar Go Kiwi

(New Zealand) First Edit

Shot entirely on the iPhone 4S while on holiday in Wellington, New Zealand, "Last Chance" by team "Dan & Skylar Go Kiwi" is a fun collaboration between Dan Czerwonka and Skylar Towle of Los Angeles, California and local friends Kathleen Winter, Max Schleser and Marian Evans to experiment with attaching Canon lenses to Dan's iPhone.

Read Last Chance HERE

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • Like that’s its shot on an iPhone
  • Fix music edit at around 40 seconds
  • Fix stereo panning of voice overs
  • Cut, cut, cut, the script and performance has a cutty / chirpy feel, use that too your advantage – try trimming EVERY shot as an exercise
  • When there is no voice over, we MUST have atmos and foley – I would just cut those scenes MUCH tighter and have no sound effects or atmos in the whole piece
  • Consider cutting some dialogue to increase pace.
  • Location sound and performance not as goods as voice over – consider new voice over for the door scene and leave ALL dialogue out except for her ‘sure’. Work with the writer on this idea.
  • Cut out BEFORE they leave frame, we want the last image we remember to be them, not a road and car
  • Great attitude – like your comments in feedback.

First Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

Write a comment

Comments: 8
  • #1

    Adolf El Assal (Sunday, 04 November 2012 13:57)

    too long and you should work on the grading & sound edit/mixing.

  • #2

    Will Prosor (Monday, 05 November 2012 03:49)

    Sound needs work for ballencing audio, also trim the fat of the office shots to make it more about the look between them. Try cutting in shots of her during his planning stages to help with what he sees in her, will add to their relationship and not make the kiss quite so sudden. A few more small smiles and lingering looks could go a long ways, as well as allowing for the film to be shortened in the office scene while not loosing effect. Best of luck from another kiwi team!

  • #3

    Damian Mallon (Monday, 05 November 2012 10:20)

    I agree that it's running too long, look at what you can trim.
    The VO at present is very calm and logical, would it bring more to the character if it was a more emotional delivery?

  • #4

    Stephen Cooper (Monday, 05 November 2012 21:29)

    Pretty much the same as everyone else. You need to take a long look at the sound and trim a fair bit. I would suggest over lapping some of his thoughts to save on the time front and help with the sound and pacing.

    There's a good film in there. you just need to do a bit more work to bring it out.

  • #5

    Susie Shircliff (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 21:19)

    I was intrigued by the description-- Kudos for bravely trying the iPhone + Canon lenses, def. a successful experiment visually.

    I agree with everyones critique on sound.

    I wonder if you took out the office scenes all together, if that would help (not only with length) but pacing.

  • #6

    Michael W. Penny (Thursday, 08 November 2012 01:13)

    We know you have to shave a ton of time off. An experiment I would try is jump cuts in all his walking scenes. Stephen above suggested overlapping some of his thoughts... that could play well with jump cuts!

    Our minds work faster than our mouths can talk. His mind is supposed to be "moving a mile a minute" as he's walking to her house. Use that to your advantage. Jump cut the video and make all his thoughts flow back-to-back-to-back in a comedic fashion and just go go go! A nervous guy thinking of all these things WILL have a billion ideas flowing through his head. I'd give it a try to see if it works!

    Another big issue I had is mentioned by others here with the sound mix. Specifically, there are scenes where you don't even have room tone (the card signing scene jumped out at me huge here), and then that's cut with scenes that has BG noise etc. See if you can cover those empty spaces to put a more complete sound mix together.

    Well done shooting on an iPhone. It was an interesting experiment to try out. Doesn't look half bad!

  • #7

    Michael W. Penny (Thursday, 08 November 2012 01:21)

    Edit: Sorry, yours was the first version of this film I watched, and I just watched the other versions use a similar style of these quick cuts to bring the comedy forward, so unfortunately my jump cut idea isn't wholly original anymore! But I'd still give it a go and see what happens! Good luck!

  • #8

    Dan Czerwonka (Thursday, 08 November 2012 21:11)

    Awesome feedback you guys thanks for taking the time to comment. I agree with your guys' assssments generally too. The length, sound and color grading especially were "ran-out-of-time" problems, so hopefully we'll be able to shorten the piece and clean it up to pass muster. :). Thanks again and please keep the constructive criticism coming - it's the only way to get better! Cheers!