'Never Forget' by Black Toffee / SnapperPunchFish Productions

(Manchester, UK) Second Edit

Black Toffee / SnapperPunchFish Productions is based in Manchester. The core of the team is myself Peter Carruthers (Actor/Writer/Producer), Dan Price (Director) and Ash Tidball (Sound). We shot the film on Canon 7D and 5D. The actor playing Lauren in the film is actor/writer/comedian Emma Kenny.


50 Kisses blog entry HERE

Read 'Never Forget' HERE

Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

Write a comment

Comments: 4
  • #1

    Staré Yildirim (Wednesday, 28 November 2012 05:15)

    Ah!!!! REALLY A GOOD ONE. I liked both versions equally. Great shots, great storytelling, smart editing, smooth camera work, good color grading, sound is good too...ah and forgot about the usage of music. Well done SECOND UNIT. I can see this one getting a lot of hits on the internet if it's put out there. Has the director have any commercials done in the past?

  • #2

    Staré Yildirim (Wednesday, 28 November 2012 05:16)

    Well, needless to say great acting :)

  • #3

    Chris (Saturday, 01 December 2012 20:03)

    LOVED THIS. One of the best. Don't change a thing!

  • #4

    S.T. (Tuesday, 04 December 2012 20:09)

    Yes, this is good!

    Just a quick note...

    I understand about, costs, time, locations etc.

    But, if you ever do this short again and put it in a Feature Film. The scene would work better if you amped up the tension.

    Ex. We see him walking quickly, while on the phone-we don't see where he is-out of focus b/g-exterior.

    His wife/girlfriend is in a car, on the phone with him.

    Keep that dialogue. Inter cut those same bar scenes.

    Near the end, he looks ahead in the distance/then down off screen. He's running to a certian place. We still don't see where he is-in a full out sprint. Then-

    His last line of dialogue...

    Woman can't really hear/understand him-pulls phone away from her ear..."Hello, what? Where are you!? etc.








    YES, NO?



'Never Forget' by Black Toffee / SnapperPunchFish Productions

(Manchester, UK) First Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • Nice and tight
  • Good sound
  • Cut shot of him at end on floor and stay on her
  • Improve the ‘thud’ sound effect, that should be REALLY painful. Maybe drop atmos directly after it to help emphasise shock

First Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

Comments: 20 (Discussion closed)
  • #1

    Adolf El Assal (Sunday, 04 November 2012 14:13)

    great acting, cinematography and editing! it just works! great work!!

  • #2

    Evan (Sunday, 04 November 2012 14:41)

    This is one of my favorites so far. From a technical standpoint I have no advice to offer. It's tight and well performed. My only hang up is I don't buy that he becomes acutely suicidal, and find it too bleak for my tastes, but that aside this is a great piece.

  • #3

    Michael P. Spencer (Sunday, 04 November 2012 16:02)

    I really really like this one! Put together very well and the acting drew me in and made me believe the situation. well done guys.

  • #4

    Alex Clarke (Sunday, 04 November 2012 21:53)

    Really good depiction of an angry suicide and of those bleak critical moments which change life forever. Well acted, enjoyed Emma Kenny in the telephone scene, those brief seconds she searches to figure out what is really being said was perfect. Well done!(sound and production spot on too!)

  • #5

    Peter Carruthers (Monday, 05 November 2012 12:26)

    Thanks everyone, really pleased with the reaction it's getting.
    Eager to get our producers notes now as the other entry for Never Forget has lots of notes and will no doubt be busily improving theirs. Anyone here got any ideas for improvements?

  • #6

    Stephen Cooper (Monday, 05 November 2012 21:49)

    Nothing much to add really. Tight film, brilliantly acted. Harsh, but then its meant to be. When I first read the script this is pretty much how i pictured it. Good job.

  • #7

    Peter Carruthers (Monday, 05 November 2012 22:05)

    Thanks Stephen, hope the judges feel the same!

  • #8

    Karen Acton (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 00:36)

    Really enjoyed the tension in this, it made me change my thinking constantly - would she get away with it, OMG he knows, OMG he's gonna do it. Unexpected - right in front of her! Loved it x

  • #9

    Peter Carruthers (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 00:39)

    Thanks Karen :-)

  • #10

    John (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 01:46)

    Very well done. Only minor criticism I would say is the end bit, something seems a bit off about the 'body' going past. Not sure what it is, maybe too fast, I don't know. The sound is wrong though. Believe me. I have the deeply unfortunate experience of knowing what this sounds like.

  • #11

    Sue Stirzaker (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 02:49)

    Wow!!! Absolutely fantastic. Great acting and delivery with a shocker at the end - LOVED IT.

    Well done - this has got to be a winner.

  • #12

    Peter Carruthers (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 17:40)

    Thanks for the advice and complements guys. Please share the link and invite feedback from your friends :-)

  • #13

    Anil Rao (Thursday, 08 November 2012 15:14)

    Dear Peter,

    Chris informed us all at the 50 Kisses session at the just passed LSF this year, that he wants 50 Kisses to win an Oscar, that's his goal. To this I can only state, that if all the films here thus far, had only one per cent of what you have given and accomplished here, we'd be in for that realisation, we truly would.

    Your work here is orchestrated to conduct what was asked of us as film makers, applied with dilligence, nuance and respect to the initial idea and the end game.

    Bravo, truly :-)

    Best wishes
    Director N.E.I.L.

  • #14

    Michael W. Penny (Thursday, 08 November 2012 23:48)

    Wanted to jump in to say I agree with others here. This was exactly the way I pictured the film when I read the original script.

    I think your single greatest frames is your reveal of the boyfriend in the same bar as his girlfriend (at approx. 00:40). His expression speaks volumes as to his realization that his life was not as he believed. Someone else mentions the girl's last seconds of screen time as she looks at her phone before the body falls in front of her. It was great acting (and directing for that matter)!

    If you're desperately looking for notes, I have a perhaps controversial one: The sound of the body hitting the ground could be more visceral and violent. John mentions something similar above, and although I've never experienced what he describes, I agree with his note. It's the last great shock in the film, and if you thicken that up to be a more violent hit, it could kick the viewer right in the gut on the final reveal.

    Your running time is like 1:35 once you remove the title card. You can't get much more accurate to be in the running for this competition than that!

  • #15

    Rob Burke (Friday, 09 November 2012 00:54)

    Job well done here Peter - tight, great shots, and best of all, for me, an emotional journey.

    Like others have mentioned, the only thing I would look into is trying to get more out of the fall. It comes off fairly one note and I think could be livened up with better sound f/x. Also, I felt like I needed more reaction out of the woman - not necessarily a scream - but for the amount of time that's used after the fall I would expect something . . . hyperventilating, exasperation . . . but these are just nitpicks for a very well done piece.


  • #16

    Peter Carruthers (Friday, 09 November 2012 02:14)

    Thanks everyone for all your fantastic feedback. We're definitely going to have a play about with the 'body hit' sound. Please tell your friends to check our film out and vote/comment.
    Thanks again

  • #17

    Sim/ Matt (Friday, 09 November 2012 21:53)

    Loved this, can't really fault anything worth mentioning. It just worked technically and creatively in harmony. Great.

  • #18

    Phil (Sunday, 11 November 2012 11:58)

    Hi Peter. As I previously said on Vimeo. I thought your film was great ...the sense of dread which it gives when you suddenly realise half way through why he's standing up so high. Great acting.

    A few notes. I agree about the falling body sound needing more work on.

    Also if you have access to secondary colour correction I would dim down the yellow diverted traffic sign in the shot of her at 0.6. It's distracting.

    The other point, which you can't do anything about at this stage, so I hesitate to mention, is that you are frequently crossing the line.

    She is walking and looking right to left and he is also looking right to left in his close ups. But in the high wide establishing shot he looking left to right.
    Now from then on we know where they are in relationship to each other, but it will subconsciously distract each time we go through the cut. Later on e.g. around 1:12 he's on a right to left close shot and she's on a low angle tight MCU but also looking slightly right to left.

    On the other hand the cut at .39 is great. As in the outgoing shot his eyes are in exactly the same place as the very strong in coming shot in the bar. ..and the static face against the movement is a very powerful composition.

    all the best



  • #19

    Manny (Sunday, 11 November 2012 17:07)


    As for Phil's comment about crossing the line, none of that matters. I think, thats a comment that only people who teach film and dont make them would care about. In reality when you watch any feature film they cross the line all the time and as long as you know where the people are who gives a f**k.

    As for the edit, its tighter than a gnats chuff. Bravo.

    Also I think the sound of the body at the end is fine. Whoever the sound guy on this is obviously the most talented of the bunch.

  • #20

    terry corbett (Monday, 12 November 2012 21:45)

    stunning short. really is.!!