'Never Forget' by Edkasi51
(London, UK) Second Edit
Shot on Sony F35
Read 'Never Forget' HERE
Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!
'Never Forget' by Edkasi51
(London, UK) First Edit
First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers
- Some minor trims could reduce the running time (for instance the shot of the mirror / makeup at the start could be a few frames tighter)
- The mans dialogue could be louder, he is drowned a little by the atmos – not sure if that is location atmos or not (if it is location atmos, there’s not much you can do)
- Consider pulling out atmos and music as he reveals his anger, with just his dialogue – It’s all your fault (you may need to ADR this) – it would create an inward breath in the viewer as we would sense something is coming, something BIG and terrible.
- Consider dropping the last shot of him on the ground – it might have more impact staying on her. It may not work either, but we feel it could be stronger without that final shot.
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#1
get rid of the final shot and work on your grading. the picture is way too flat and the sound has to be mixed properly.
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#2
Acting is great, I agree with producers comments, lose the final shot and stay on the woman. Punch up the colours slightly, but otherwise this is an amazing film - I was captivated for the entire duration.
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#3
We are really stunned and humbled at the expert opinions being offered by filmmakers - REALLY great stuff!
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#4
I'd agree as well with that final shot - the sound F/X is very well done and keeping on the woman at the end I think would be worth thinking about. I'm with Scott - this short captivated me for the duration. Nice job.
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#5
Good job. Loved the performance from the male lead. One of the best i've seen so far. I agree with the others about staying on her for the last shot but mostly because I think the SFX does way more than any shot could.
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#6
Thank you all for the kind comments and suggestions for improvement. We're gonna work on those in the next few days and put it up.
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#7
Good stuff guys, looks great. Thanks for choosing my script :-)
Can't tell you how weird it is to see my script made into a film by people I've never met or spoken to!
Good luck,
Pete -
#8
To play proverbial Devil's Advocate for a moment, I agree the final shot of her may look nice as the last shot, and her scream and reaction are great, but consider this:
If we DON'T see his body on the ground, are we sure of what just happened? Do we know it was the boyfriend who fell right in front of her? I mean, WE know because we know the script, we've seen the other films, etc, but perhaps we need that final reveal that it was him on the ground to provide closure for the first-time viewer of the film.
Yes, film is all about inference and sometimes what we don't see can be scarier than what we do, but for sake of argument I'm just throwing that out there... I'm not sure if I'm right either as I'd have to actually see it to decide which I like better, but it's something to at least consider.
This film was really well done, and I enjoyed seeing him get dressed in his best tux to meet his end. Well done on this one. -
#9
Hi Micheal,
Thanks a lot for the comments and suggestions. We're trying out both options to see what works. Initially even before we started editing , i favoured not showing him, but then we quite liked what we saw. However, now we are trying the original idea to see what works.
Cheers.
Sankar
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