'Nothing Ventured' by Giant B

(Florida, USA) Second Edit

We shot our project on the Canon 5d Mark II. Director Roger B Stillz put the project together with the help of his generous but small crew who are as passionate about film making as he is.

Read 'Nothing Ventured' HERE

Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

Write a comment

Comments: 0

'Nothing Ventured' by Giant B

(Florida, USA) First Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • The internal atmos is pretty horrid with the fridge – I get it but could it be less?
  • Can it be trimmed?
Comments: 10 (Discussion closed)
  • #1

    Bobbi (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 20:24)

    Very sweet video and well put together! Love this!!

  • #2

    Stephen Cooper (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 21:59)

    Well shot, well acted. My only suggestion would be what i've said about the other versions, i'm not sure the 'moral support' character adds anything. Maybe to late now though. Would maybe do a little something with the colour at the end as well. It's quite a contrast from the shop but is the key romantic moment. Maybe try a few different gradings and see what works.

  • #3

    Suvasis (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 18:41)

    Well acted and thought the extra character was a good mislead that helped i to work more realistically. Good soundtrack too.

  • #4

    Michael W. Penny (Thursday, 08 November 2012 01:39)

    I liked this. I think your use of the "moral support" character through most of the picture was well executed to throw off the viewer as Suvasis also suggested above.

    Two things I have of note to say:

    I wasn't sold on the montage of putting the bouquet together. It seemed overly substantial and ate up a lot of screen time IMO (from 01:18-01:34). I understand this is where you show the "moral support" (MS) character leaving, but I felt there was just too much here. I'd try shrinking it down and see if you like it better. One of the flowers being done up, one of the MS checking her phone, another of flowers, MS leaving, and then we're out of it, maybe 8-10 seconds instead of the 16 it runs now? I also wasn't a huge fan of the music used here, but that's a personal taste thing, and I could be the only one.

    Other note is that I personally lose the payoff of the man saying the girl who left is the "moral support" (MS). He gestures to the now gone woman, but I feel like we're missing the previous shot shot of the flower shop owner looking around to see where the MS went before he explains that she was only MS. If you have that shot, or some dialogue of the girl saying "but what about your girlfriend?" or some quick variation that shows her acknowledging the now departed other woman, the payoff would work better for me. I felt that if I hadn't read the original script and known who the MS was, I may not have understood that payoff. Just my opinion.

    Overall I liked it though. Nicely shot and as others have said well acted. The flower shop owner seems really peeved at the guy coming into the store. It played nicely.

  • #5

    Nicola (Thursday, 08 November 2012 19:15)

    I really liked this version, nicely shot and well acted.
    The only part that, at least for me, does not work at all is the montage - the music kind of jumps at you and it doesn't fit with the rest of the film. If you can re-shoot, I would re-shoot showing the moral support character watch them through the window, maybe smile and leave. I know she is meant to mislead, but she confuses me as a viewer. Through the montage, she is getting attention for which I can see no reason. But she opens questions we don't need here - and the "for moral support explanation" does not answer them for me. Questions like: she doesn't seem to want flowers in the beginning, she's totally passive, she's not forcing him in there, she's not actively supporting him, she doesn't seem to be in a rush, why does she become impatient suddenly, why does she appear almost mad, why does she leave ...

  • #6

    craigb (Saturday, 10 November 2012 05:10)

    Well Done Everyone! would make a good webseries

  • #7

    Mark P (Sunday, 11 November 2012 18:43)

    HI, well done. This looked great. I think that I was a bit flabby around the middle - I don't think you need the music montage myself.

    This is the first version of this script that I've watched and I didn't actually hear what he said. It wasn't until I looked at the comments that I realised it was 'moral support'. Maybe I'm just a bit deaf, but you might need to clean up that audio.

    this last point is a bit of an observation really - I found the bulk of the story a bit flat. I think this is a script issue more than anything. There's no tension. I think that's also why the central montage felt a bit boring. Nothing's at stake. We're just waiting to see what happens. Now, how does one fix this? I"m not really sure. Two ideas. One would be to have the 'moral support' person leave a bit sooner. Then we'd be anxious for the guy and waiting to see what happened when he realised. The other thing would be to set up the shop girl a bit more. A shot of her tinkering with the flowers in the store right up at the top of the film would help give us a clue that we need to care about her. I felt myself wondering - whose story is this? I think you need to really direct with a stronger hand. This could be misdirection too - maybe another shot of the 'moral support' character as she's waiting.

    Hope this is helpful.

  • #8

    Kate (Sunday, 11 November 2012 22:00)

    I thought this was pretty, but I didn't like the montage at all. The audio is up and down and I feel like "Kate" (hah!) was a bit too abrasive after she softened and let him in. I didn't understand her performance. Your guy was really great and endearing.

  • #9

    Michael Bierman (Monday, 12 November 2012 10:07)

    Liked the performances. I did find this music ANNOYING. Well shot, and a nice film!

  • #10

    Emmanuel Philogene (Friday, 16 November 2012 04:44)

    I like it. The message came across well and I was very much into the story. The acting was good for both main actors. Job well done.