'Practice Makes Perfect' by Everything Sticks

(Christchurch, NZ) Second Edit

Everything Sticks are a team of zero budget film enthusiasts from Christchurch, New Zealand who use Canon DSLRs and experiment with DIY gear to complete interesting film opportunities.

Read 'Practice Makes Perfect' HERE

Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 0

'Practice Makes Perfect' by Everything Sticks

(Christchurch, NZ) First Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • Reut, remix and reduce

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Comments: 7
  • #1

    Adolf El Assal (Sunday, 04 November 2012 16:34)

    I would re-edit the entire film. try to start with the boy who meets the girl and then intercut to his kissing practices. Also the music doesn't really fit. and get rid of the fades.

  • #2

    Stu Gilpin (Sunday, 04 November 2012 21:23)

    Thanks for your feedback Adolf. Um, doesn't the film start exactly that way? The kissing practices are intercut throughout too. The music choice is a tango as this story is a bit of a back and forth plus it's a light-hearted piece. By fades do you mean the cross-fades or the fades to black? What specifically don't you like about them - your feedback on this point is a bit broad. :)

  • #3

    Damian Mallon (Monday, 05 November 2012 09:11)

    Hey guys, this has a good cutesy feel to it but I feel it's running a little too long. You'd be surprised at how much difference you can make shaving a few seconds (or even frames) here and there; each of your scenes needs to show or impart something so look at what you've got and ask if that last second of footage is telling anything? The mirror kiss and the ice cream sections could be trimmed without losing the intention or comedy.
    I love the visuals in the middle section of the film. There are some great shots and the actors really sell the emotion. There is a lot of repetition though - think about whether the repetition adds anything to the emotion or is just reselling the same thing. The 'walking away' sequences nicely sold the idea of the date winding down, but I feel they should be left until the end of this section as the pace was at odds with the fountain scenes.
    The end is well done. The emotion is good and the flashback works well. Again, consider what is shown versus what you are telling the audience; for instance, do you need to see the girl walking away after the boy's victorious gesture?
    I really like what you've put together and there are some really nice visuals. I believe it can be tightened up a little and still impart the plot, humour and emotion with a shorter run time.

  • #4

    Mark P (Monday, 05 November 2012 10:09)

    Hi Guys,

    First of all, well done! It's great seeing my film come to life like this. I think it works well at the pleasure gardens. I also really like the awkward greeting at the beginning!

    I agree that it's a bit long at the moment. For me, it feels like it's dragging - for example the mirror kiss and the water spraying.

    One really useful exercise would be to try and make it as a 60 or 90 second version. That way, you'll be forced to really look at the heart of every bit of action that you see. For example, do you need so many licks of the ice cream? It will force you to be really ruthless and then you might end up quite pleasantly surprised at the result!

    Another example is the first flashback. You could up the speed of the cross dissolve and join him in the bedroom just before he's about to kiss his hand. Then, when we come back to the gardens, you can join them later - I think the reverse angle where he is still smelling his breath and she has appeared behind him is a good point. We don't need to see her arriving.

    Finally, I'm not sure whether you took any sound on the day, but if you did, I'd be tempted to see what it's like running it without any music at all. I think it might really heighten the emotion and draw us in to the characters more. At the moment, the music really sets the tone and it's a bit overpowering in terms of mood.

    Well done!

  • #5

    Rowena Woolford (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 18:53)

    I like the style but think it needs a bit of tightening up, the walking down the path towards the end for example - it feels like they don't make much progress in the time spent showing the fountain shots. I think you can tighten up the edits between each 'practice' by cutting out the repeat of the previous action and moving straight on to the next section of the date. The opening needs a little less of the waiting, maybe cut from the close up of his face at 0.25 to one shot of him in his room then straight to the shot over his shoulder as she arrives and he is checking his breath. Thinking of each section as only needing 2/3 shots maximum might give you a slicker edit. Looking forward to seeing a 2nd edit.

  • #6

    Stephen Cooper (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 22:34)

    Right. I think the key to this film is gettinjg the transistions right. If you can cut nicely on each pratice to each example on the date then the film can be very slick. The awkward cuts to black feela bit messy, i'm sure theres a better way of connecting the scenes.

    I would also cut the romantic scenes and the end right down. Both play a little long at the moment. You have a good film here thats let down slightly by the edit at the moment but it looks to me like you've got enough there to fix it. I would go with Marks suggestion and do a 90sec cut and work from there.

    Good luck. Think you have a good film, just need to bring it out.

  • #7

    Stu Gilpin (Saturday, 10 November 2012 10:09)

    Cheers for all of your feedback - great stuff in here. Another cut coming soon!