'SWALK' by FutureView Entertainment

(Los Angeles, CA, USA) First Edit

Dawn Cobalt is the director and this film is starring Wil Haynes and Jameelah Nuriddin and was shot on the Sony EX3 by the director of Photography Kenneth Stipe.


First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • Too ponderous right now, trim

First Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 6
  • #1

    A.Writer (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 20:49)

    Good production, audio was mixed ok and your shots weren't distracting. The problem is the script is boring. For the production value this short deserves to be in the final feature, however for the story, it's a little pointless to watch. You can tell right from the start that someone is dead, making the reveal anticlimactic.

  • #2

    Stephen Cooper (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 23:36)

    Shoot well, acting is good. I would personally lose the voice over as the pictures and objects around the house are already telling the story. Really enjoyed the fact that she was in the room when he walked to the coffin and you didn't cut straight to her, worked well. It's not my sort of film in all honesty but I think you've done a very good job with it.

  • #3

    Mark (Saturday, 10 November 2012 14:43)

    This is the second version I have seen. Shame it wasn't the first. The film is beatifully shot in a way that alludes to something heavenly. The picture moving was a nice touch. I thought the whole thing was very well done.

    You do have one problem though and that is the actor is very young and looks very healthy to have died. If you can try to shoot him reading a newspaper about a motorcyclist being killed for example and this add a whole heap of credibility.

  • #4

    Judson Lake (Thursday, 15 November 2012 15:36)

    Love your handling of the final reveal at the end. The whole sequence is lovely.

  • #5

    Suvasis (Thursday, 15 November 2012 19:14)

    Watched this without sound - but a very high quality job here. I think all the visuals and cast were good - not too young etc. Liked the moving pics in frames too. Even though I found the original script a little dull - I must confess I could not get any emotional impact looking at this as I kept recalling Chris Rock and all in Death At The Funeral which I saw recently... kind of makes it hard to take DEATH seriously - this was TOO SOON AFTER.

  • #6

    Staré Yildirim (Sunday, 02 December 2012 23:05)

    I loved the way you changed the screenplay...i imagined this at night but day time works very well especially with the sunlight through the window at the end. I wouldnt use voice overs, and why need a moving frame? it disturbs the style and pace of the film (only my idea, it's a taste issue rather than a technical one). Definitely would not use the VO.