'On Thy Lips A Faded Rose' by Poco Film

(Harrogate, UK) Second Edit

Shot on Canon 7D in Rugby town centre on a Saturday with no budget whatsoever. 

Read 'On Thy Lips a Faded Rose' HERE

Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 0

'On Thy Lips A Faded Rose' by Poco Film

(Harrogate, UK) First Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • Loose dissolves
  • Music dominates. Try without it. Of do what Anil Rao did with NEIL and take out all effect and use just a subtle music track
  • Work on sound mix, traffic never sounds good.
  • Trim shorter

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Comments: 4
  • #1

    Stephen Cooper (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 22:11)

    Am somewhat uncertain about this film at the moment. On one hand I do like a fair bit of it (although it could be cut by at least 45 seconds)and on the other hand i'm not sure about the overal tone.

    I think the whole film is maybe to bright and the music to uplifting for it. I get why it would be like that at the end but feel there should be more of a struggle at the beginning otherwise the story falls a little flat. Would suggest maybe dulling the colours slightly and take another look at your musical choice. Am interested to see what production notes you get from 50kisses.

  • #2

    Mark (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 12:12)

    You've got some good shots enough I think to make the story crackle and buzz from this. It really really needs some brave editing to clear out the not so good and overlong shots and to add interest for the viewer. I found myself at times thinking of looking at another webpage while waiting for something to happen. This should also help with the music.

  • #3

    Graham Smith (Monday, 12 November 2012 11:36)

    Not clear what loose dissolves means. Are the dissolves too loose? Or nor loose enough? I'm not familiar with that term.
    The other points I'm working on and it should come out much shorter.

  • #4

    Mylène (Thursday, 15 November 2012 17:48)

    I guess "loose dissolves" means not to have them as transitions in the movie. We had the same comments in our entry, just do simple cuts instead.