'The Moment' by Bicyclettes de Belsize

(London, UK) Second Edit

Our team consists of Director: Ekta Walia, DOP: Keith Gubbins, Starring Jadran Maljkovic as the hitman and Tom Brittney as the hit with original music by Harry Lightfoot. We shot on C300 in the cellar of a pub in Belsize Park, London.

Read 'The Moment' HERE

Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 1
  • #1

    Lauren Hatchard (Monday, 10 December 2012 14:55)

    Hi Ekta,

    Wow, really engaging short film and original script. I agree with comments below and think it's great that you are offering a chance for edit feedback, what a great idea!

    You should be really proud and hope this film does well for you. I love this unexpected love story and it does leave me wanting to know how this relationship could continue?

    An evil side of me wanted to end it with the sniper shooting him anyway, despite the obvious connection. But maybe that's just my twisted mind! But I was engaged by actors performance throughout, very gripping.

    Good luck with this and hope to bump into you again soon in this crazy industry!


'The Moment' by Bicyclettes de Belsize

(London, UK) First Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • Dialogue needs a remix – it has no perspective or room around it – great that you ADR’ed it, now go the final step
  • Drop final music cue – its too OTT – or change for something more contemporary
  • Play ‘we had a moment’ on hitmans face
  • Try dropping ‘are you sure?’ at 1:50
  • Foley the whole piece.


Comments: 12 (Discussion closed)
  • #1

    Andy Robinson (Tuesday, 13 November 2012 14:02)

    Nice, taught version - well performed. Only a couple of notes. The dialogue is very clean & clear - possibly ADR'd? It feels almost too clinical, with none of the ambiance of the location, which you could add as a separate track, as well as some reverb on the voices. The first music track felt like a good fit, but the second when the hitman admits they had a moment, felt like too much of a shift in tone. But overall a good film, and original choice for the location - well done.

  • #2

    Nathan Gower (Tuesday, 13 November 2012 15:09)

    Interesting tone on this one. You seemed to bypass the humor in the script, which is certainly different. I don't know that I can offer suggestions for improvement, because while I don't particularly connect well with the way this version is played, I think you hit what you were going for and it might connect better with others.

  • #3

    Evan (Tuesday, 13 November 2012 20:06)

    Of the serious versions this is my favorite. Well filmed and acted. I'm with Nathan regarding the tone. My version is comical because that's how I interpreted the script. Matter of perspective.

  • #4

    Stephen Cooper (Wednesday, 14 November 2012 07:46)

    Shot well. Strong preformances. Like the location. I would agree that you could maybe do with more of a sound design at the location. Bit of foley work etc.

    It's not the tone I wrote the script in, but it works well for your take on it and I really enjoyed watching it. Good job.

  • #5

    Geoff Colman (Wednesday, 14 November 2012 15:37)

    Jadran's performance is clear - but occasionally sign posted. Tom's was simple and effective but at moments of crunch lacked transmitted inner landscape or thought.

    The bit by bit journey was impacting and VERY cinematic - although I never believed that Jadran would really shoot. I thought the visual world was austere and skilfully employed.
    I didn't like the second sequence of post near shooting music all violins and lerv.

    It looked like an extract from a longer film which is very good.
    I was interested in the lives of these two men and what had led to this moment.

    I would certainly watch more by this film maker

  • #6

    Mylène (Thursday, 15 November 2012 16:48)

    I like the cinematography but agree it is too quiet at the beginning and the music at the end doesn't really work. Also might be good to ADR once again few lines where the actors do not seem as engaged as they could be, right at the beginning when Tom said they had a moment for the first time.

  • #7

    Catherine Alexander (Friday, 16 November 2012 11:16)

    I actually really liked the underplayed sense of comedy - it left me guessing and engaged me in a more complex way. Very sophisticated cinematography and well paced. I agree that the music at the end doesn't help establish the right tone. The 'moment' of tension needs to be broken...

  • #8

    Julia Morgan (Friday, 16 November 2012 13:10)

    I agree with what a few have said about the ADR'ing and that it needs to be better mixed with some ambience and reverb etc. However, I think it was well shot and well acted and I also agree that the serious tone of the film works well. However, the final strings after the hitman admits they have had a moment bring a too obvious comic nature to a serious piece. Maybe try just dropping the soundtrack completely and having the sounds of the basement leaving them with a sense of "what's next"? The music makes it look like they will make-out! Great film though.

  • #9

    Ekta Walia (Sunday, 18 November 2012 11:49)

    Hello All,

    Thank you for all your positive comments and suggestions, they are constructive and achievable. I’m working on addressing them now.

    The dialogue is ADR well spotted. The reason we recorded it separately is because the cellar of the pub was noisy, with fans and kegs and pub noises but we recorded some really interesting Foley which we will add. I think it will add to the tension.

    We’ll add reverb to the ADR and the composer has agreed to do a different version of the end music. We’ll try it with different music and without music to see what works best.

    I wanted there to be a shift in tone at the end, but I think the current music is perhaps a bit much.

    Stephen – thanks for your comments. I realise it’s not the tone that was intended but I’m really pleased you liked this interpretation.

    It’s really interesting to see what other directors have done with it.

    Ekta Walia

  • #10

    Nerina Villa (Tuesday, 20 November 2012 00:48)

    The Moment. Really enjoyed it.

  • #11

    Helen H (Thursday, 22 November 2012 17:08)

    It is a beautifully shot film and the music at the beginning adds to the visual, though I agree with some of the other comments that the end music distracts rather than complimenting and building, but I see you are already acting on this note. I really like the close up's at the beginning and the location lends a good ambiance. I too didn't believe that he would shoot especially when he lowers the gun, as I didn't understand why he did? I wanted him to hold it up, right until the end moment when he could lower it to move in to kiss. I would like to know more about what happens and see more from this director.

  • #12

    Natasha Carlish (Monday, 26 November 2012 16:18)

    What a beautifully shot, directed and edited film. I have nothing really to add to all the above comments-I do agree with Helen H that there was a missed opportunity for the hitman to lower the gun right at the end and move into a kiss. But I liked the intensity and the mixture of comedic and more dramatic tone and I thought the performances were really good, especially from Jadran Maljkovic.