'The Nearness of You' by Heydon/Carver

(London, UK) Second Edit

Shot in one happy day by Norfolk based team, Joe Carver and Sam Heydon, on a Canon 550d. We were fortunate to work with some extremely talented actors and crew and a lot of very patient and good humoured extras!

Read 'The Nearness of You' HERE

Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 1
  • #1

    Angela Rowland (Sunday, 30 December 2012 16:00)

    I loved this - I was sucked into the past instantly and intrigued from the very start. Glad it had a happy ending too :-)

'The Nearness of You' by Heydon/Carver

(London, UK) First Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • Too long, trim down – you could cut almost all the first 30 seconds
  • Interiors need a grade
  • Atmos drowning out dialogue
  • Too much dancing – there is no conflict or drama in those scenes
Comments: 11 (Discussion closed)
  • #1

    Evan (Tuesday, 13 November 2012 22:16)

    Wow a lot of work put into this. I especially loved watching the dancing and playing midway. Really well shot.
    This probably will need trimming. The obvious place to start would be the middle but that would be a shame. I think you can tidy up the edit and keep the feel of this section.
    My only real concern is the intent of the script doesn't seem clear. That is, the writer has coaxed us into thinking this is about two lesbians, but it's not. Hence the surprise ending. If it's at all possible consider shooting some shots to suggest this (seductive eye contact, hair fiddling, touching, etc). That would really make the intent clear.
    Great job.

  • #2

    Michael W. Penny (Wednesday, 14 November 2012 01:03)

    Fantastic art direction, costuming, and hair/makeup, etc. Really brought you right into that 40's vibe. Your team really did a greatly involved job on this piece, and I appreciated watching it for that fact!

    Although I agree the middle stuff of the girls dancing together was great, I did find it dragged ever so slightly. If you are trimming this any, I'd try to shave a few seconds off each dancing sequence. The play between the girls is great, so perhaps the trimming would be found in some of the cutaways to the other couples at the dance. Instead of landing for 4 seconds on another couple, go 3 or 2 seconds, etc... that kind of thing. You'll need to shave a lot if you want to get it down to 2-3 mins, but see what you can do!

    My only other concern was the scene where the two girls have their first drinks, I found the Walla BG mix a little too hot over top of the lead actors dialogue. It didn't prevent me from hearing the girls, but it still felt a little too loud compared to them.

    Great work team!

  • #3

    Jim (Wednesday, 14 November 2012 11:49)

    If I may so bold, I don't want to criticise but I think I might need shortening in the second edit? Especially the dancing shots.

  • #4

    Tim (Wednesday, 14 November 2012 12:05)

    What great production! The costumes especially look brilliant. It really takes you to the era. Lovely stuff!

  • #5

    suzie hanna (Wednesday, 14 November 2012 18:26)

    Yes, I agree that the dancing goes on too long, although beautifully shot. Could take at least a minute out of the middle section. I am amazed at how much was achieved in a day, quite amazing!

  • #6

    Jonathan Lambert (Wednesday, 14 November 2012 18:33)

    Well done, all! I loved the opening with the sound of the motorcycle and the music and general atmosphere inside the village hall. The barman is worthy of a special mention.

  • #7

    Mylène (Thursday, 15 November 2012 16:59)

    Really enjoyed the atmosphere, you really re-created the period very well, love the shots but would definitely cut a lot of it at the beginning and the dancing. I am not sure about the first few seconds outside as it seems very dark so might be my laptop but could not see much and not sure it adds anything... I guess it is just to established that it is the village hall but it can be done in a couple of seconds.

  • #8

    Rob Burke (Friday, 16 November 2012 01:14)

    Nicely done. Like others have said - this is way too long at the moment. The running time of a lot of the sequences start to detract from the period feel you've worked so hard on injecting into this piece.

    I'd suggest concentrating on cutting a lot from the beginning - get us into the story faster - right now it takes almost 45 seconds before we meet the players. Try working with between 5 and 10 seconds of lead time.

    The next sequence of one of the ladies getting the drink and then sitting back down with her lady friend takes almost another full minute. I'd look at cutting this down as much as possible - nothing really happens that's all that interesting in this 50 seconds. You could try cutting out the cigarette bit, cut down her time at the bar - maybe get all this down to 10 or 15 seconds.

    As noted in the producers' notes - the dancing scene feels too long - over a minute and a half. Like the opening sequence - it lost the period piece feel to me rather than enhanced it. You could probably shave another 30 or 45 seconds off in here.

    Besides the time issue - I'd also agree with Evan's comments - not sure if it's possible now - but even more trickery that these two might be lovers would help.

    All that said - did watch it from start to finish and appreciated the hard work put in on this to make it feel authentic. Also liked the performances of your actors. Good luck with however you approach a re-edit.

  • #9

    Mark (Saturday, 17 November 2012 16:52)

    This was the first time I had watched this and your recreation was excellent but I just didn't get the story until I read in the comments I was supposed to be misdirected into thinking they were lesbians. It didn't work for me. Also some of the background chatter seems to repeat itself and be of varying volumes.
    Ultimately I did enjoy the recreation and music without the story!

  • #10

    Andy Robinson (Saturday, 17 November 2012 22:33)

    A truly great evocation of a wartime village hall dance - hard to overemphasise how difficult this is to pull off on a micro budget - so congratulations. As other people have already mentioned, the opening section and dancing could be tightened, and still get all the atmosphere across. As for misdirecting the audience into thinking the girls might be lovers - if there isn't alternate footage, then this may be impossible without reshoots. I felt the reunion of the girl & serviceman could be made more of - this is what everything has been leading up to. Great atmos soundtrack - poss strong in places, but that is easily mixed. A really great effort - well done.

  • #11

    Jonny Webster (Monday, 26 November 2012 23:18)

    There is lots to really enjoy in this short.

    The 1940's vintage feel was fabulous. All the players and musicians looked, moved and sounded so authentic.

    Dramatically-speaking, I was quite intrigued as to whether this was a Lesbian love affair or whether it was leading onto a regular heterosexual denouement. It was of course the latter, and there could have been a bit more preparation for the male lover arriving on the scene.

    Also the start of the film could have been trimmed back a fair bit.

    Having said that, this is still a very enjoyable movie experience. With high production values. And all done in a day as well! I take my trilby off to all who were involved with this.