'Tied Up' by Kinetik Films

(Austin, TX, USA) Second Edit

Mehul Shah and Erica Vogel co-produced this short film, with Mehul Shah directing.  We shot the film on a Canon 7D and a Canon t2i.  

Read 'Kinetik Films' HERE

First Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 0

'Tied Up' by Kinetik Films

(Austin, TX, USA) First Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • The whole film could be 90 seconds shorter.
  • We get that is waiting so don’t labour it, its not interesting watching someone wait
  • Needs foley and more sound effects – really letting great work down not having it
  • Music a bit obvious, try other options – try pulling out 50% of it as it diminishes impact at the end. Don’t let the music dictate the edit and mix lower
  • Work on the grade, your shots are great, make them better.


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Comments: 11
  • #1

    Adolf El Assal (Sunday, 04 November 2012 16:04)

    wow, I almost cried! beautiful! I would start on the phone. And work a little bit on the sound design and mix plus grading. amazing job!!

  • #2

    Karen Mueller Bryson (Sunday, 04 November 2012 20:10)

    I admit I cried! Loved it!

  • #3

    Rob Burke (Monday, 05 November 2012 20:35)

    I agree this could be much shorter - that said, really enjoyed the emotions this piece takes you through. I'd think about starting in with the phone message as well and taking out all the time we just spend sitting there with her. Too static. Also - wasn't a real fan of that kiss at the end - wonder what would happen if you took that out and switched it with a shorter more tender (less sexual) kiss or moment?

  • #4

    Shan Jayaweera (Monday, 05 November 2012 21:55)

    Really really beautiful short film - I think the length is perfect, any shorter the whole thing would seem contrived, it just felt right. Performances are excellent and everything works really well with barely a word being spoken.

  • #5

    Rowena Woolford (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 18:05)

    Nice work. The opening feels a little slow, I understand you want to give the sense of her waiting but perhaps it could open with the first shot of her and intercut the wine drinking shots with one or two of the couples shots - at the moment there are too many couples shots and opening with her will clarify who the central character is from the start, the progress of her wine drinking will help suggest time passing, letting you show the character waiting but not making the audience wait.

    The 2nd half of the film seems a much tighter edit although I agree with the producers in saying the music is a little too dominant.

    I think you definitely have captured the essence of the script although I'm not sure the kiss at the end needs to be as long, perhaps cut to another angle of it (if you have one) to make it seem more sincere and slightly less extreme. Looking forward to your 2nd edit.

  • #6

    Stephen Cooper (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 23:45)

    Very pleased to see this script made, and made well. I loved the script and really wanted to make it myself. Am very happy that you've done it justice. Is beautifully done, tender, sweet, really works.

    I agree that some foley is needed and that a bit can be trimmed from the beginning but all in all great job. Loved it. (For the record, I really like the music, wouldn't change it myself).

  • #7

    Mark P (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 12:41)


    Well done on making this. I think everyone has done a great job.

    I don't want to poop the party as everyone is so upbeat but I have the same reservations about this film as I do about the script (my comments are still online in the script section of the website) . I'm so much more interested in the young couple's story than the older couple.

    I think both the script, and this film, really undersell the young couple and make them entirely passive. I always felt that I wanted to see them as the centre of the story. I know that that would make it quite a different film, but personally, I would love the re-edit to spend more time with the young couple. Are there any shots where the young guy does the older guy a favour - like straighten his tie or something? That would be amazing. The re-edit is a real opportunity to make it more 50/50 with each couple.

    Anyway, I appreciate that I'm out of step with general opinion here. My comments are intended to be constructive. As I said before, well done to everyone.

  • #8

    Erica Vogel (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 14:37)

    Thank you all for your reviews. We're pleased to say that we are very near to posting a newly edited version and have taken everything here into serious consideration while working on it.

    As for the changing the script idea, "Tied Up" placed in the top 10 scripts, as written, and we want to honor that and stick close to the original story. We're very proud of Chris and his script and it has been a pleasure to work on this film.

  • #9

    Shaun Bond (Friday, 09 November 2012 17:25)

    I just wanted to say that I agreed with Mark P's comments on the script as much as I do here. It would have a much greater impact if the boy with Down's Syndrome was the one saving the day, rather than some smart looking guy coming along and saving his. You say above that you are sticking close to the script and won't be making such changes and I respect that, but I just wanted to express that more than the one person would like to see more of the younger couple.

  • #10

    Simon McCay (Monday, 12 November 2012 23:05)

    This was one of my favourite scripts - great film guys - well done! I'd agree with some of the comments above in that her sitting waiting takes too long. Also I'm not a fan of her imperiously indicating to the waiter that she wants another glass of wine - we understand that she's a bit annoyed that her partner has kept her waiting - just don't make her look like a bunny boiler! The rest of the film is excellent - think it would look lovely on the big screen!

  • #11

    Mehul Shah (Friday, 16 November 2012 18:13)

    Thanks for all the constructive suggestions. While we do like having a little more waiting to set the scene, we've cut it down considerably to take into account the other films in the compilation. We've added a lot of foley and tweaked the music. We're excited to show you all the new version!