Jacky (Tuesday, 21 August 2012 22:39)

A delightful read, with subtely underplayed characters that give it just the right amount of intrigue and twist

Andre Lang (Monday, 13 August 2012 11:06)

I'm sorry for my bad English.

Interesting idea. I'm enjoyd the read.
But ...
The conflict could be deeper.
How about ...

Who is in the changing room? - She don't know it. They flirts from afar. She hears what he says:
- Expensive? No matter! The main thing you like it.
- You deserve the best. The dress should highlight your charming figure.
- I'm not in a hurry (looks at his watch). Take as much time as you need.
She likes this guy! And then... She takes a business card with her phone number and goes to him...
And now she sees that there is a man in the changing room...
The Young Man gets distracted for a moment... And when he turns to her again... She is not here! She ran away.
Father: Something happen? You looks upset.
Young Man: Nothing. it's all right, Dad.
(Now we learn that he is his father)

Excuse me for my attempt. I do not think that's necessarily good.