The Flatmate by Simon Regan

It's Valentine's Day, and 19 y/o David has been dumped. Scoffing down dodgy black market Valentine's chocolates alone in his room, he has a startling revelation. Confessing to his Youtube subscribers:
The Flatmate.pdf
Adobe Acrobat Document 97.2 KB

Write a comment

Comments: 1
  • #1

    Milethia (Thursday, 02 August 2012 18:25)

    Funny. Original. Enjoyed it.

    Some minor things to consider... Sometimes you don't always write in the present tense

    'David panicked' better to write - 'David panics'?

    'David with a squeal tossing the box of...' Better to write - 'David, with a squeal, tosses the box of...'

    Again, a minor point, but you also capitalise some action - like TEAR, KISS - but it's best not to do this; sounds are okay.

    All the best.