A Grand Day Out by Thomas Mccue

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A young couple share business and pleasure while on a date by the seaside.
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Comments: 3
  • #1

    sylvia mccue (Wednesday, 25 July 2012 00:15)

    ahh just got the meaning of the title there !
    nice wee story x

  • #2

    Craig (Wednesday, 25 July 2012 17:11)

    A littel slow I thought. Also When they are on the beach you have it as one scene but should cut to later beween each part. Nice twist but may need more, maybe she just leaves.

  • #3

    Nigel Sheppard (Wednesday, 25 July 2012 17:25)

    Fair effort Thomas, I thought this was a little too cute for me but is decent enough. If I were to offer any constructive criticism, it would be to make their relationship seem unbreakable right up until the end, and try to portray that to an unwitting viewer that they are insanely in love and having the best day of their lives. I'm sure that's what he's paying her for, isn't it? It seemed at the beginning that she was off with him.