Many thanks for your thoughts Sally. When Cupid says "sad sap" it's because she's quite judgmental (and also why she leaves Death) initially. I wanted to steer away from a stereotypical Cupid. I like
your suggestions about Death being more exciting and dangerous! Thanks again for your feedback!
#3
sally brockway(Friday, 10 August 2012 20:49)
Hi Claire - it's a shame this one didn't make the final 50 as it's great. Any feedback I have got is only nit picking really. When Cupid dashes to the loo she calls the person in love with her boss
'a sad sap...' suddenly I didn't like Cupid very much. Isn't she supposed to be a romantic?? I loved the bit where the two youths get hit by her arrow by mistake, although I would have preferred a
kiss, eyes locking etc to a street dance. But that's just me. And finally, I love the twist at the end, although I wasn't 100 per cent convinced by Cupid's change of mind. Perhaps Death could be a
bit more enigmatic, dangerous and exciting. Otherwise, great job! x
Claire Yeowart (Friday, 10 August 2012 22:03)
Many thanks for your thoughts Sally. When Cupid says "sad sap" it's because she's quite judgmental (and also why she leaves Death) initially. I wanted to steer away from a stereotypical Cupid. I like your suggestions about Death being more exciting and dangerous! Thanks again for your feedback!
sally brockway (Friday, 10 August 2012 20:49)
Hi Claire - it's a shame this one didn't make the final 50 as it's great. Any feedback I have got is only nit picking really. When Cupid dashes to the loo she calls the person in love with her boss 'a sad sap...' suddenly I didn't like Cupid very much. Isn't she supposed to be a romantic?? I loved the bit where the two youths get hit by her arrow by mistake, although I would have preferred a kiss, eyes locking etc to a street dance. But that's just me. And finally, I love the twist at the end, although I wasn't 100 per cent convinced by Cupid's change of mind. Perhaps Death could be a bit more enigmatic, dangerous and exciting. Otherwise, great job! x
Claire Yeowart (Friday, 10 August 2012 17:52)
Thanks Michael!
Michael E. Bierman (Friday, 10 August 2012 17:37)
I really enjoyed this. You played with the archetypes and had fun with it. Novel, and a cool twist ending. Good job!