Next year by Mike Morucci

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David's Valentine's plans go on hold when he visits his ailing mother.
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Comments: 2
  • #1

    Mike Morucci (Monday, 23 July 2012 20:13)

    I wrote this is script in one day and I've learned I really need to let things incubate and allow more time.

    After posting I've re-read many times and see where I could have used actions (just signs the form instead of saying "I'll sign"; gently returns the rose instead of saying "No") and taken time to have a better final line of dialogue.

    Looking forward to feedback from my fellow writers!

  • #2

    Mike Fraser (Monday, 23 July 2012 20:33)

    That was a very touch story that welled my eyes up. Giving the amount of space to write the screenplay I think you did a great job conveying a very sad but heartfelt story. I do agree with what you said about the actions. Sometimes actions do speak louder that words, but I felt the dialogue in those scenes didn't detract from the overall story. Good work.