Sonia has seen fellow runner Paul struggling to improve his time in the local park. She suggests an “Anti-Valentines” drink to celebrate their singleness and defy the hype.
For me it should have ended when they ran off in separate directions, without the whole collapse thing. That would have made a nicer story, although difficult to work the kiss in.
#2
Craig(Wednesday, 25 July 2012 17:42)
Don't see why this didn't get through? Maybe not enough scene discription. Maybe they shoud be flirting a little.
#3
Craig Beachell(Sunday, 29 July 2012 09:49)
I liked this one and as a Film maker it enabled me to visualise what you was trying to express. The formatting of the script is no better or worse than one's produced by major companies.
#4
Martin Price(Tuesday, 31 July 2012 14:13)
Breathless
Thanks for the feedback guys. I was originally going to have him collapse in front of Sonia and have her adminsiter the kiss of life, but in the end I thought it was a bit sadder this way.
Bit gutted it didn't get further, but there you go. Let me know if yours are up and I'll reciprocate.
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Nigel Sheppard (Wednesday, 25 July 2012 17:34)
For me it should have ended when they ran off in separate directions, without the whole collapse thing. That would have made a nicer story, although difficult to work the kiss in.
Craig (Wednesday, 25 July 2012 17:42)
Don't see why this didn't get through? Maybe not enough scene discription. Maybe they shoud be flirting a little.
Craig Beachell (Sunday, 29 July 2012 09:49)
I liked this one and as a Film maker it enabled me to visualise what you was trying to express. The formatting of the script is no better or worse than one's produced by major companies.
Martin Price (Tuesday, 31 July 2012 14:13)
Breathless
Thanks for the feedback guys. I was originally going to have him collapse in front of Sonia and have her adminsiter the kiss of life, but in the end I thought it was a bit sadder this way.
Bit gutted it didn't get further, but there you go. Let me know if yours are up and I'll reciprocate.