Really like the premise and pace but I think it could benefit from greater clarity in places as there are times where it's a little hard to tell what's going on. Also I'm not sure why Agent would
kiss Savage, but otherwise I really enjoyed it.
#2
Craig(Friday, 27 July 2012 19:13)
A bit hard going, no names didn't help.
#3
Mark(Saturday, 04 August 2012 15:50)
Thanks for your comments! To clarify - I deliberately left some parts a little vague so a director could interpret and embellish, particularly the more 'sci-fi' elements. I used the labels "Agent"
and "Technician" to reinforce a fairly bleak, cold and authoritarian angle. But both characters refer to each other by name within their dialogue - "Erik" and "Blaire" (a nod to Eric Blair - George
Orwell's real name).
BTW - congrats Rachel on making the Shortlist!
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Rachel McAdam (Monday, 23 July 2012 14:26)
Really like the premise and pace but I think it could benefit from greater clarity in places as there are times where it's a little hard to tell what's going on. Also I'm not sure why Agent would kiss Savage, but otherwise I really enjoyed it.
Craig (Friday, 27 July 2012 19:13)
A bit hard going, no names didn't help.
Mark (Saturday, 04 August 2012 15:50)
Thanks for your comments! To clarify - I deliberately left some parts a little vague so a director could interpret and embellish, particularly the more 'sci-fi' elements. I used the labels "Agent" and "Technician" to reinforce a fairly bleak, cold and authoritarian angle. But both characters refer to each other by name within their dialogue - "Erik" and "Blaire" (a nod to Eric Blair - George Orwell's real name).
BTW - congrats Rachel on making the Shortlist!