As said, a few punctuation issues, but it's a nice read. Well done. :)
#4
Nigel Sheppard(Tuesday, 24 July 2012 23:10)
Nice story Paul, but it could do with a bit of revision. The dialogue, idealistic in places, could do with some work. People don't really speak that way. Leaving that aside, it is a pleasant story.
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Paul Holbrook (Friday, 20 July 2012 16:39)
Nice little story, but difficult to read in places due to punctuation issues.
Jaye (Friday, 20 July 2012 18:01)
That is a lovely story, a tiny bit expositional, but very endearing. Love this bit:
*I promised we would spend every valentine our anniversary together and we will,until we meet in heaven.*
Steven JC Johnson (Friday, 20 July 2012 19:00)
As said, a few punctuation issues, but it's a nice read. Well done. :)
Nigel Sheppard (Tuesday, 24 July 2012 23:10)
Nice story Paul, but it could do with a bit of revision. The dialogue, idealistic in places, could do with some work. People don't really speak that way. Leaving that aside, it is a pleasant story.