'60 Year Valentine' by Melody Smith
Second Edit
An animation by Mel Smithm, created in paper cuts. Shot on a Canon EOS 600. Edited on Final Cut Pro by Rowena Woolford.
Read '60 Year Valentine' HERE
Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!
'60 Year Valentine' by Melody Smith
First Edit
First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers
- Too long, consider hard cuts to increase pace – making it half the length would double the impact
- Maybe some sound effects or atmospheres from each era too
- Cross fade music too, right now it fades in and out.
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#1
nice short but a bit repetitive.
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#2
Would agree with all the production notes given. Still, nice to see something so different. Feel if you cut the runtime down to about 90 seconds it will play very well.
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#3
Thanks for the comments. Working on a 2nd cut which is sharper and evokes more of Marc's intentions. Keep an eye out for it!
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#4
All comments still welcome though!
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#5
Like the original high quality animation - but really think the artwork in the characters needs more detail to convey the fact that they are the same people and that they are aging - that is not easy to pick up - also that Advert needs to change with the times or be a poster on a lampost or window?
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#6
Thank you. Pleased to hear the comment on animation. Meeting the deadline gave me issues with putting in some of the detail I wanted too. Look out for the 2nd draft, I would be interested in your response.
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#7
As a story telling vehicle it pretty much gets it across, albeit too slowly. I agree with pretty much all the comments here but would add that the most ambiguous moment in it is when the original couple are reunited at the end. The difficulty is that the lack of detail earlier on means they're not very recognisable and could just as easily be the son and his wife dancing.
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#8
Thanks for taking the time to comment Peter. I agree re. the clarity of the story. I was a late entry and didn't have enough time to work in the detail I wanted to (as you can imagine papercuts are timeconsuming but I like the challenge). I am working on the second cut now and feel quite excited about this chance to correct any issues. The end section will change as will the daughter and partner dancing. If time allows will change the 'old' dancers too. Have added more detail to correct the era issues as well. Music is a discussion point here at the moment so any suggestions are welcome. Hope you will look out for 'cut 2' when it appears.
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#9
Just considering the comments here. Does the importance of the 'hands' telling the story come across? For instance the strong husband's hand taking the frail(still alive) hand for the start of their eternal dance?
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