'Romantic Hideaway' by Dart Productions

Second Edit

“Thank you for taking the time to view my interpretation of Romantic Hideaway. This has been a fantastic experience made more so by my Belfast team: producer Derm McGuigan, DP Gary Doherty, my most excellent co-star Kerrie Milford and the real star of the show, writer Kulvinder Gill for a screenplay that practically directs itself! I appreciate any and all comments and suggestions to improve my film. –Tom Dart”

Read Romantic Hideaway' HERE

Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 1
  • #1

    Simon Hosick (Monday, 03 December 2012 12:06)

    Great twist.

'Romantic Hideaway' by Dart Productions

First Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

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First Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

Comments: 9 (Discussion closed)
  • #1

    Tom (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 23:17)

    Yes I know I'm going to have to break out the chainsaw. I've got my own ideas about how to cut this in half, but I'd love to hear what y'all think needs to go.

  • #2

    Stephen Cooper (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 23:18)

    Sound mix is a bit all over the place. Alot of the dialogue feels very detached from the picture. Also feel you could do with some close-ups of him talking on the bed. Would trim the beginning a little as well. Takes a bit to long to get into the story.

  • #3

    Tom (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 23:33)

    Thanks Stephen. Yes most of the cuts I envisioned will be in the beginning.

  • #4

    Conway (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 23:41)

    Very interesting choice of camera angles, aswell the story behind it seems interesting. I'd actually like to see more of this.

  • #5

    Brian 'Dougie' Douglas (Thursday, 08 November 2012 02:36)

    Very good. Yeah so it's a little rough round the edges, but still a great, fun, movie short. Loved the surprise that the girl was chained up. But second only to your strangulation.
    I've been doing some online video tutorials so I appreciate how difficult getting sound levels right can be.
    Finally, I was fortunate enough to be in a room with JJ Abrams back in June. He played some of his early work and it wasn't this good!
    Looking forward to the next Dart Production!

  • #6

    Eoin Cleland (Thursday, 08 November 2012)


    It's a cool short, though as you know, it needs a bit of work.

    A few things: This is a punchy story, there's no way it should be over 2 minutes long in total. But you seem to know this. See if you can cut a 90 second version and expand it where needs be.

    Lose a lot from the start. It shouldn't be more than 35 seconds before he's in the room, IMHO.

    Crush down brightness in post. It's too bright as is. And maybe try a heavy filter. I'm not normally a huge fan, but it's a horror movie so you can get away with them.

    Stick in some atmos, preferably of a farm or something, so we're subconsciously clued in at the end.

    Is there any way to put incidental music over it? Even atonal stuff would work. Look at the Hitcher or Shining for how a few weird noises can totally change the vibe of the scene. Or maybe you could play the weird happy music from the start the whole way through it as an ironic counterpoint.

    Can you reveal the chains sooner? You miss a beat by having the prisoner reveal also be the bit where she attacks him. Have you a cutaway of the chains (or could you get one) Drop that in to establish the chains. Or play a bit more of her unease in the close ups. Play up the tension.

    You could do with a shot of the phone saying "no signal" or whatever.

    Some of it's a tad static. You should try playing a little with slight digital pushes and pans in Premiere/Final Cut. If you're shooting 1080p, it really shouldn't hurt the resolution and adds a huge amount of tension to your shots.

    It's got great potential, just needs a little work.


  • #7

    LvB (Monday, 12 November 2012 17:23)

    Needs a ruthless edit. Opening scenes are lovely to look at but much too long. Great that you have her smile and seduce him into getting closer before she moves in for the kill - adds a lot to the tone of the scenario. Strangulation scene again is a bit too long, but good that you don't downplay the violence or the struggle she has to kill him. The fact that there is a riding crop in the bag in the room - and all that that implies about what has been happening in that room - horrible but brilliant. Turns an already appalling situation into something truly horrifying. If you can get the time down, this is a very strong film.

  • #8

    J Young (Wednesday, 14 November 2012 08:47)

    Again, as said above, it needs a good recut.
    The side shot where he is writing, you can clearly see that he is not writing on the card.
    I feel the shots of the girls bum are unnecessary, a little crude and take way from the action. I disagree with the comment above where they say you don't downplay the struggle, to me it didn't feel like a struggle at all. She didn't seem like she was fighting for her life, or indeed desperate to get out. You need to add foley as it sounds too flat.
    With a good edit you could make the film a lot tighter.

  • #9

    Tom (Sunday, 18 November 2012 18:40)

    Thanks all for your comments. Sorry I haven't been back on here to update earlier. Everything y'all said was taken on board for the second edit which will hopefully be up this week.
    J, I agree somewhat with your comment about the bum shots. Believe me I cut as much as I could without taking away from transition. Wherever possible I went with more of the 'no bum' shot. There was one where a smoother transition was sacrificed because what we had was just too 'bummy'.