'Romantic Hideaway' by Team Scribble

(London, UK) Second Edit

The film was shot on Canon 5D Mark II, 25fps 1080p and produced and directed by Kawita Sareen.  All the cast/crew was sourced from Shooting People.

Read 'Romantic Hideaway' HERE

First Cut Comments... have YOUR say!

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Comments: 4
  • #1

    Kulvinder Gill (Saturday, 19 January 2013 21:07)

    Director Kawita Sareen's film of my script "Romantic Hideaway" is currently one of two versions competing for Shooting People's January 2013 Film of the Month competition.

    Please support the film by watching it on the Shooting People site (so it accrues views) and if you are a member of Shooting People, do also take a moment to rate the film - you can award up to 5 stars.

    The first round of voting finishes on Sunday 20th January at Midnight GMT - the top 5 entries plus 5 wildcard entries (decided by the judges) go through to the final round of voting.

    The top three films at the end of the month will get feedback from Oscar winning director Kevin McDonald.

    At the time of writing (Saturday evening - with just a day and a bit left of the first round of voting), the film is in fourth place - but only just, as there are two other films snapping at its heels, meaning it could easily slip out of the top 5 and lose the guaranteed place in the final round. So in the next 28 hours every viewing and vote counts!

    The link to the film is here: https://shootingpeople.org/watch/114277/romantic-hideaway

    If the comments field doesn't allow active hyperlinks, I've made the URL my homepage, so if you click on my name at the top of this comment, it will take you the film on the Shooting People site.

    Thanks for your support.

    Kulvinder Gill

  • #2

    Kulvinder Gill (Saturday, 19 January 2013 21:19)

    Sorry, the link under my name in the original comment isn't working - so I'm going to have another attempt here.

    But if you cut and paste the link into your browser, that will definitely work.


  • #3

    Kulvinder Gill (Tuesday, 22 January 2013 12:01)

    Good News! Director Kawita Sareen's film has now made it to the final of Shooting People's Film of the Month competition.

    In the final round, all the star ratings are re-set to zero and it's a flat out race for the top 3 places . (The top 3 films get feedback from Oscar winning director Kevin McDonald.)

    If you are a Shooting People member please watch and rate the film. If you already voted for the film in the first round, you are allowed to vote again in the final round as all the film scores are re-set to zero. Voting closes at midnight on the 31st of January.

    If you are not a member of Shooting People, you won't be able to vote, but you can still help by watching the film, as the number of views are taken into account when the star ratings are equal. And you can also help by sharing the link on social media.

    The comments box doesn't allow active hyperlinks - so I'm going to try and include the link to the film under my name again at the top of this comment - but that can be a bit hit and miss. If that link doesn't work - the link under my name in Comment #2 definitely does work. Alternatively, you can copy and paste the link into your browser: http://bit.ly/SPfotm1

    Thanks again.

  • #4

    Kulvinder Gill (Friday, 26 April 2013 11:31)

    Director Kawita Sareen's film of my script Romantic Hideaway won the "Short Short" award for best film under five minutes, at the 2013 London Independent Film Festival.

    Kawita Sareen's version of Romantic Hideaway has its own IMDB page - so if you want to leave a review on IMDB - this is the link to her film:

    (Please note - as there is more than one version of Romantic Hideaway on IMDb now, just make sure any review you leave is for the right film!)

    Thank you for your support.

'Romantic Hideaway' by Team Scribble

(London, UK) First Edit

First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers

  • Some foley missing, work on your sound – you have done a good job already, could do more
  • Music mixed too loud in places and drowning dialogue
  • You don’t need the fade to black in the middle
  • Needs more sound effects, especially in fight
  • GREAT ending!
  • Sort out your sound, trim a bit here and there and it will make all the difference
  • RESHOOT – if you do a reshoot, and I think you should, you need that key shot to establish the chain going around her neck – it’s just mechanics of story telling and missing right now.

Write a comment

Comments: 10
  • #1

    Stephen Cooper (Tuesday, 06 November 2012 23:18)

    Really like the big finish to the film. The whole thing was shot very well and framed beautifully. Colours and lighting were great. My only concern is the sound for the first half of the film. Can't really hear anything. Think if you do a bit of work on the dialogue mix the attack scene was have more of an emotional impact. Great job though, really very impressed.

  • #2

    Ed Hunter (Wednesday, 07 November 2012 14:13)

    I really like the big shock finish. That's my favourite bit.
    The shot where the hero is sat against the wall and cuts to the door to reveal the isolated house. Great music.
    Good build up of tension early on in the film.
    I wasn't sure of the kid's pictures at the start. Maybe it was the handheld camera? No big problem though.
    Perhaps the attack could have been revealed in a more shocking way.
    It cut into the middle of the attack instead of showing the beginning. It then used music and editing to provide the power.
    Maybe one simple long shot would have worked?
    Or not showing it? Keeping the camera on the daughter's face and hands.
    Also, perhaps the realisation she couldn't get out (because the chain was too short) could have been extended. That moment is the climax of the narrative.
    But I can see how tough it is to give that an extra 10 seconds when there are only 180 seconds available!
    The lighting was moody in the bedroom.
    The acting was authentic, particularly the daughter.
    The mother gave a good creepy look. The blue lighting on her face helped.
    When the mother had a "nice surprise tonight" there was a great moment of eye contact between the actors.
    That was a big emotional moment in the story. It was handled effectively in terms of acting, editing and cinematography.
    The script had so much information that needed to be revealed in 3 minutes: the film succeeded in telling the story.
    Good build up of tension and revealing the twists.
    Overall a very slick and effective film.
    Well done guys!

  • #3

    Kawita Sareen (Thursday, 08 November 2012 17:20)

    Thank you for all your comments/suggestions. We'll try and get some of these into our next edit.

  • #4

    Mark (Saturday, 10 November 2012 15:15)

    I haven't seen any previous versions or read the script so this was new to me.
    The sound was very well done but I had to get headphones for my laptop as I thought I must have missed an important bit of dialogue somewhere.

    You have a MAJOR problem in that its not clear its the mother holding her captive. I thought she had either been kidnapped or the being held by a lesbian keeping her as a sex slave. The pictures in the beginning although I now know are a clue seemed to have no meaning. The ending was also unsatisfactory although I half knew she would never escape I thought you didn't show this well enough. IE If she grabbed the door and clumsily closed it then cut to the closed door and keys in it would have shown her no win situation clearer.I know we pull away and show a big mansion isolated but the thought I had was its not conclusive and she could still escape.

    I got the idea she was a prisoner and killed her captor and that she was trapped and would die it left me feeling unsatisfied because I didnt know how or why or if.

    You could easily correct this with a little more work and if your not sure about what I said I would ask a few more people who have no idea about the story for their view. Don't ask family and friends though they will always say its amazing. To give credit where its due though apart from making the story clearer the rest of it was EXCELLENT!

  • #5

    LvB (Monday, 12 November 2012 17:07)

    Had a problem with the sound during the first half. Great ending, musio and visuals work brilliantly together. Scenario is a little confusing,however. It is not clear that this is a mother/daughter situation.

  • #6

    D (Monday, 26 November 2012 02:51)

    Nicely Done, Very solid on the colour and shot style there's a consistency to it. Though didn't particularly like the take on the two main characters. little to no tell on Elena's face which just became an inversion from the meek to frantic doesn't have i dunno... a transition. A Change an choice a decision, a last straw even.

    The Antagonist shes weird rather than creepy or threatening... Definitely a stalker vibe but not a Hostage taker.

    I was talking about the transition which brings me to the fade to black, not a fan. its not necessary and a cutaway to another action happening at same time would have been a better choice or losing it all together and coming into the struggle immediately.

  • #7

    @IndySanghera1 (Thursday, 03 January 2013 13:48)

    - Nicely done overall. The positives have been highlighted, but soem of my thoughts where I think there was room for something a bit different:

    - I wasnt aware she was the daughter until reading the reviews.Still not sure of the motive behind it being valentines day and her daughter. The link there is a bit vague?
    - Where she goes to strangle her when about to kiss, was shot in such a way, it almsot seemed like a fantasy, or flashback, and not reality, so wasnt clear initially if that was happening or not.
    - Unlike the others, not a huge fan of the music. I like it, but too many similarities to the music from SAW, which instantly brought too many comparisons to that film which could be avoided. You dont want peope viewing this as an imitation or built in the same mould.

  • #8

    Janet Page (Thursday, 03 January 2013 14:04)

    Aesthetically very nice and some really positive work around the cinematography, with the exception of a few sound problems. The story however has far too many flaws. Too much for a viewer to try imply their own thoughts and a bit too much confusion.

    That may be the intention in which case thats fine. But if not, then those creases would need to be looked at. A bit like the comment before me, really dont understand the link between the daughter and her being the mothers valentine.

    If she's the daughter, then she's presumably aware that her family home is in a secluded, isolated area. So to whom is she screaming for help? And the final shot of the isolation, is for our benefit only and has no real benefit to the story - its purely functional?

  • #9

    A. Writer (Thursday, 03 January 2013 14:32)

    Pretty nice. Few tech glitches.

  • #10

    Luis Franklin (Friday, 04 January 2013 12:37)

    I'm unforunately opposite to the othes here Not a great fan of this piece. It did feel like an imitatin of Saw. Also a bit confusing and a lot of brief images of childhood pictures and drawing which we're supposed to decipher the background story from.

    Camera looks good though