'Countdown' by Scott Craig
(London, UK) Second Edit
I am a 19 year old filmmaker at Bournemouth University who is passionate about film, I gathered a talented crew and we shot the film using a DSLR camera.
Read Countdown HERE
First Cut Comments... have YOUR say!
'Countdown' by Scott Craig
(London, UK) First Edit
First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers
- The beeper is too loud throughout
- Could have more foley too
- Maybe some world atmos with sirens off in the distance to sell what would be happening outside?
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#1
wow, I love this one. very good editing and acting.
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#2
Thank you so much, that means a lot to me. I'm sure there is much that can be improved upon and I'm eagerly looking forward to constructive criticism!
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#3
Agree with Adolph!
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#4
The only thing you could improve on and the reason I didn't mention it was because I felt it may be to late to go for a reshoot and do anything about it but thinking about it you could -
1)The framing at 0.37 could have tighened to her and the ballons. You could reframe this.
2)Her acting at the beginning seemd a little off although after it was very good and quite touching. You could try some ADR or look for another clip and try the vocals from that.
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#5
Thanks for the feedback Mark, I will have a look at the rushes and try to improve based on your feedback.
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#6
You could awlays do a digital zoom
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#7
19, passionate, well done! That's the spirit!
Continuity wise, the last wide shot before he cuts, he has his helmet on! Overall could be more tighter to increase the tension, A few digital zooms will add tension, especially on the clock. Don't be too instructional to the script, don't do what is told, do what you feel is right. Edit to your emotional reasoning.
Good luck :-) -
#8
Yep, I noticed the helmet on the first watch after uploading.. will be changed in the next cut :) Thanks for the comments, will definitely see if I can tighten up some shots! Cheers for watching and taking the time to offer help.
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#9
Wow... very well done..... Beautiful music that enhances the delicate, heart-breaking moments.
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#10
You certainly delivered the goods. Not much to improve upon, though I'd consider at the end doing a brief series of shots timed to the beeps, maybe four, and then end with the clippers. Just a thought. It plays well as is but that might heighten the tension.
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#11
Really very very good, one very slight continuity - helmet is off when he's about to cut the wire, to long shot and the helmet is on, then back to close, off again? Honestly though a very small observation on a well made piece
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#12
Beautifully shot, well acted. Liked it alot. Hope you have no problems with the clearance for M&S though.
All in all great film. well done. -
#13
Mark/Stephen - I will be changing the last wide, where the helmet is on and it shows the M & S logo... It's unfortunate as the emotional edit is really begging for a wide there, but I'll try and sort something out! Thanks for all your feedback, honestly has made my week.
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#14
I really don't think you'd have an issue with M&S sign. Just pop in there, explain situation and ask if they'll sign a clearance form. Call head office if you have to. Really shouldn't be a problem. It's only in background.
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#15
Loved this one a lot!!
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#16
Personally I'd leave the last shot if you think it works the best, and put some blur or mask out the sign. I didn't notice the helmet after a couple views so I wouldn't compromise the impact of the ending over it.
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#17
Acting, music, shot choice & editing are all great, well done. Close up at 1:00, the lighting is slightly off, bit of color correction should fix that. A few people above have already pointed out the helmet continuity error, I didn't notice it personally until reading the comments, so I would leave it up to you with regards to cutting/replacing it or not.
Great work! -
#18
This is VERY well filmed. I think it definitely would benefit from some background sirens or something, obviously people would be cleared away from the site but some very faint audio like that would add depth in my opinion.
With the M&S sign, even though it is partially obscured I actually think that if you asked them you will have problems getting permission due to the nature of the scene. It's not a positive thing that they would want to be associated with. -
#19
Nicely done. Spare, to the point, and effective. Immersive. Fix the helmet and the loud beeper. Cheers!
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#20
This is amazing! I've watched this multiple times now and it still makes me tear at the end! You are truly talented! Phenomenal music and simply excellent filming. Not much to improve on. Good Luck! :)
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