'Beryl' by Kristy Linderholm
(London, UK) Second Edit
Read 'Beryl' HERE
Second Cut Comments... have YOUR say!
'Beryl' by Kristy Linderholm
(London, UK) First Edit
First cut: Producers notes for the filmmakers
- Fix grading, it’s all over the place – very milky in places
- Work on the sound, dialogue tracks could be improved, add atmos tracks and foley.
- Some slight sync issues too though that could be Vimeo
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#1
I think considering the equipment you used the picture should be a lot better than that. Need to really work on the colours (although I see you are already aware of that). Also I remember the script feeling a bit more fun than this one does in places. Would consider adding some kind of soundtrack to lift the film a bit. Other than that I like your choice of shots and the performances are good. Just need to really drastically improve the colour.
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#2
Hi Kristy,
I disagree with Stephen on the music. It was nice to have on that didn't have a stock soundtrack running underneath.
I think the key thing for me is pepping it up a bit. The gag comes out of the fact that we think the other lady is totally off her trolley but then she turns out to be a sly fox. Whether you can set that up a bit more with a close up of her if you have it. Maybe some more reactions from the guy too. I think cutting harder into the dialogue could make it faster and snappier.
I agree with the producers about foley. Some seat squelching and smooching sounds would really lift it.
Finally, on the ending, I'm not sure that I like the long cut of the laughter. I never find it all that funny watching other people laugh at their own jokes so I wonder whether you could come out of it sooner? I really liked the high five - maybe that could work as an exit point?
Hope this is helpful. -
#3
Good job with this. I do agree we expect better from the equipment used, and likely some work with contrast, brightness and colors can correct the deficiencies. Personally I felt Beryl's performance was weak though not much can be done at this point. Some tighter editing and foley should help.
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#4
I can appreciate the comments above about it being nice to not have music beating us over the head (as many of the films do); but I have to say that a punchy, quirky script like this feels a bit empty without some music (I'm thinking it feels especially empty at the moment of the kiss).
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#5
Worked for me without music - and I like the interaction of the two ladies. I also agree with Mark P - ending on the high 5 rather than the laughter I think would work really well - as both characters are in on the 'con'.
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#6
Well done Nice film Just needs some work on colour correction.
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#7
As others have already mentioned, the picture grading needs looking at, as does the audio - I think there were some audio overlaps/repeats at one point. I really enjoyed this version, and didn't think it needed music. A little tightening will make the the performances really shine - well done!
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